The Cookie Crumble

2008-02-26T18:28:00.002+08:00

K.W asked me this question:

If you were driving on the streets and suddenly a hurricane struck your town. You drove by a bus-stop. There stood 3 people - a sick old lady, your best friend and the guy/girl of your dreams. You are to pick up one person but had only one seat left in your car. What would you do?

Here's My answer:

I'd pass the keys to my best friend and ask him to take the old lady to the hospital. I'd get down the car and stay at the bus stop with the guy/girl of my dreams.

The Best Proposal

2008-01-12T11:40:00.001+08:00

I think the most that anybody can honestly say is, look,
I guarantee, there’ll be tough times.
I guarantee that at some point, one or both of us don’t want to get out of this thing.
But I also guarantee that if I don’t ask you to be mine, I’ll regret it for the rest of my life.
‘cos I know, in my heart, you’re the only one for me.

> I thought this was the best proposal ever

Being Selective

2007-03-12T23:43:00.000+08:00

You probably pick this blog because you are concerned with whatever that’s up in my mind right now, what I’m thinking that is. You may find it annoying or may even think this blog is crammed with cock and bull story as you read. But before I go on further, I want to thank you for picking my blog. I hope this entry will help you realize the need to be selective.

There just isn't enough time for everything on our "to do" list—and there never will be. You are literally swamped with work and personal responsibilities, projects, the daily newspaper reports, stacks of magazines to read, and piles of books you intend to get to one of these days—as soon as you get caught up.

But the fact is that you are never going to get caught up. You will never get on top of your tasks. You will never get far enough ahead to be able to get to all those books, magazines, and leisure time activities that you dream of. Why?

Forget about solving your time management problems by becoming more productive. No matter how many personal productivity techniques you master, there will always be more to do than you can ever accomplish in the time you have available to you, no matter how much it is. Why?

You can get control of time and your life only by changing the way you think, work and deal with the never-ending river of responsibilities that flows over you each day. You can get control of your tasks and activities only to the degree that you stop doing some things and start spending more time on the few activities that can really make a difference in your life. That is to say, get more of the important things done-Today!

This is a wonderful time to be alive. There have never been more possibilities and opportunities for you to achieve more of your goals than exist today. As perhaps never before in human history, you are actually drowning in options. In fact, there are so many good things that you can do that your ability to decide among them may be the critical determinant of what you accomplish in life.

If you are like most people today, you are overwhelmed with too much to do and too little time. As you struggle to get caught up, new tasks and responsibilities just keep rolling in n, like the waves of the ocean. Because of this, you will never be able to do everything you have to do. You will never be caught up. You will always be behind in some of your tasks and responsibilities, and probably in many of them, thus, the need to be selective.

If you have to eat two very slimy snakes, eat the larger one first.
In other words, if you have two important tasks before you, start with the biggest, hardest, and most important task first. Many have the temptations to start off with the easier task, but do resist it. One of the most important decisions you make each day is what you will do immediately and what you will do later, if you do it at all. Be mindful that time is not always on your side. One of the very worst uses of time is to do something very well that need not be done at all.

Love as a verb, rather than as a feeling.

2007-01-29T23:44:00.000+08:00

"Love Hurts", "Love's Blind"
People in love or who's been in love always ramble these 2 lines.
But come to think of it, I think its more of "Love Hurts" rather than "Love's Blind". "Love Hurts" not in the sense that you broke up with your boyfriend or girlfriend. Instead, it's the things you do to each other. Just a word of advice, if you want to improve your relationships, don't see love as a feeling, instead, love as a verb.

There's something about cuddly couple cuteness that irks us like nails on a blackboard. If you're guilty of committing any of these offences, you, too, are startling strangers with your achingly amorous affections.

I think those who are about to fall in love or are already in love should consider reading this article which i chanced upon in a magazine.

Stealth heavy petting You can't keep your mitts off her. We get it. But don't think we don't know you're tickling your lover's thigh under the table. Keep your paws where we can see 'em!
Glimpse of heaven You house is perfect. You're both beautiful beyond belief. You're healthy, hip and hygienic. But don't tortore me with the beach photos from that fabulous trip. to Tahiti.
All dressed So he doesn't bot to the altar of GQ. That doesn't give you the right to drape sweaters over him like he's your personal Ken doll. Let the man dress himself.
Nauseating nicknames Poopykins. Honey bear. Baby boo. Muffin cake. Whatever happen to good ol' "dear?"
Frankenlovers That's not how it happen. . . Oh, Sweetie, you always forgot what i wore on our first date. . .Sound familiar? If you want to maintain seperate identities, quit correcting your lover's version of events. Let Poppykins speak!

insect invasion

2007-01-21T23:25:00.000+08:00

I'm afraid of darkness and creepy crawlies.

On days when I sleep late, I'm talking about 3-4 am, I get really freaked out by the night-life in my house. Lizards, roaches, worms, flies, everything. Nearly the entire collection of insects can be found in some corner of my house. How not freaked out can I get. But think of it from another angle, my house is a good place for breeding insects. It's cosy and comforty, that's why insects come and breed. (right, that didn't make sense)
My mum made a ludicrous comment this morning. She said that our house is blessed by insects. That's more nutty than what I said previously. But her statement generated this thought - raining insects. When all those grasshoppers and hairy worms start dropping from clouds and landing right on your arms and clothes. how cool is that.
Think i better stop before i get a nightmare of insects.

35 I's

2007-01-16T21:49:00.000+08:00

i am blasting music right into my ears now.
i have decided to just blog on whatever comes into my mind.
i can't wait for the holidays to come.
i only have to sit for 2 exam papers this semester.
i have one paper on 10feb and the last on 14feb.
i tell myself to mug now and mug hard.
i think i'll only do that on fri evening, or next week.
i feel much better when i do that.
i have got 2 test next week, one on thurs and one on fri.
i have got loads to do.
i feel a sense of achievement when i'm able to complete my tasks and deadlines.
i have just completed my whole series of projects.
i have an interview on thursday.
i skipped cell biology lecture.
i will continue to skip.
i only attended 2 lectures so far.
i beat my record - i attended only 2-3 weeks of maths ,lecture last semester.
i think my parents will kill me if they find out i'm wasting their money.
i am not that worried.
i produce results.
i have a super relax week this week.
i start at 10 on monday and end at 2.
i start at 9 on tuesday and end at 4. but INFO lesson was so short. i ended class at 2 instead.
i start at 8 on wednesday and end at 6. but i already said i skipped cell bio lecture. so i don have to go to school so early. practical is cancelled this week. so i'm going to school from 12-2 only.
i start at 9 on thursday. but due to open house, my school's lessons are all cancelled for today and tomorrow. but i've gt duty from 10-2. 2.10-2.20 is my interview slot.
i start at 10 on friday. although school's lessons are all cancelled, IS modules resume. but i end at 12.
i am all alone with my mum for this week.
i don't know what's with people lately.
i read about the killings in most parts of the world.
i read about people making out in the bus.
i think the world is berserk.
i think this is all pure ramblings.
i think i am going to need to stop.
i think i have to stop.
i stop.

Killings and World Peace

2007-01-10T23:28:00.000+08:00

There is a need for World Peace, seriously. Many said that there will be more disaster this year. Some even said that there will be much more disasters taking place each year. Who knows? Disasters actually occur only when hazards strike in vulnerable areas. We can't control the incidence of natural disaster. It strikes almost anytime and anywhere, or at least the more vulnerable areas. But man-made disasters (war, terrorism, etc.) are the ones which can be controlled.

Terrorism is regarded as a constant threat to all people of the world in the early 21st century. Here, it’s in the case of the 911 attack in 2001 which appears to be the worst disaster of its kind. 4 airliners were hijacked from American international airports: one was flown into the Pentagon, 2 flown right into the WTC towers in NYC, causing both to collapse and the last was forced down via passengers’ action into a field. Just this attack took away the lives of about 3000. In 2004, a series of bombings took place in several waiting cars in a train station in Spain. The transportation systems of London were bombed in 3 locations in 2005. Some call this the 7/7 bombings.

And there’s Saddam Hussein, ousted Iraqi President. Everyone around the world relate him to the world’s best known and most hated Arab leader. He’s one sadistic ‘leader’ (well I don’t regard him as one) who committed crimes in a brutal crackdown during his reign. Well at least he’s been executed. So let’s just hope that Sadddam’s hanging will help bring stability to Iraq.

People like him should all be executed in the most brutal way. I may sound quite sadistic here but they’ll have to pay back double or even much more for all their evil doings. Well I still think the best method to kill them all is a slow death. If they’re to die just in that few seconds, it’ll be so cheap for them. So I was thinking of modifying the electric chair method. Instead of soaking the sponge they place on the convict’s head with a lot of water, soak it with enough water just so an electric current can pass through. And adding a small amount of water each time. In this way they’ll suffer a hell load and die a slow and painful death. (gah I sound so evil here)

Yes, so my main point is to exterminate all those sadistic people, especially those sadistic leaders who cause the most harm to their people. And lastly I say I hope for world peace.

Happy 2007

2007-01-01T23:33:00.000+08:00

Towards the end of the year we tend to reflect on what happened and what we accomplished in the year that passed. The New Year is a time of hope as we reflect on the past and prepare for the future.

As I look forward to 2007, I have many ambitions. I want world peace, a place where every man and woman can enjoy peace, and someday realize how beautiful the world a place it can be. I want freedom and independence. I want to play twice as much and twice as hard as I did in the past year. The list goes on and on. There're just simply too many 'I want' to list down.

I hope to go into the New Year with renewed hope and confidence.
I wish you all a Happy and healthy 2007.

Boxing Day

2007-01-01T22:27:00.000+08:00

26/12 is Boxing Day. On the same day today, 2 years ago, the world experienced one of the worst natural disasters ever recorded.

The devastating tsunami struck countries around the Indian Ocean causing death and destruction on an unprecedented scale. This was followed by a number of vicious hurricanes across the Caribbean and the inundation of the city of New Orleans. Then in the autumn came the massive earthquake in Pakistan and India.

This series of dreadful events has brought loss and suffering to so many people - and their families and friends - not only in the countries directly affected, but almost everyone around the world.

As if these disasters were not bad enough, I have sometimes thought that humanity seemed to have turned on itself - with wars, civil disturbances and acts of brutal terrorism. In this world many people's lives were totally changed by the terrorist attacks, natural disasters and more.

These natural and human tragedies provided the headline news; they also provoked a quite remarkable humanitarian response. People of compassion all over the world responded with immediate practical and financial help.

Certainly the need for selflessness and generosity in the face of hardship is nothing new. The veterans of the Second World War whom we honoured last summer can tell us how so often, in moments of greatest trial, those around them seemed able to draw on some inner strength to find courage and compassion. We see this today in the way that young men and women are calmly serving our country around the world often in great danger.

Year 2004 has reminded us that this world is not always an easy or a safe place to live in, but it is the only place we have. I believe also that it has shown us all how our faith - whatever our religion - can inspire us to work together in friendship and peace for the sake of our own and future generations.

Christmas Day

2006-12-25T23:57:00.000+08:00

Christmas is a time for reflection and renewal. For Christians the year's end has a special and familiar significance, but all faiths have their calendars, their signposts, which ask us to pause from time to time and think further than the hectic daily round. We do that as individuals, with our families, and as members of our local communities.

In the past, and even sometimes now I find it hard to believe that someone the older generation might have something useful to say to them. But I would say that my father has much to say to me. Indeed, his vigour and enjoyment of life is a great example of how to close the so-called generation gap. He has an extraordinary capacity to bring happiness into other people's lives. And his own vitality and warmth is returned to him by those whom he meets. This I'm partially convinced by.

Christmas is a good time for us to recognise all that whomever has done for us and to say a heartfelt thank you to each and every one of them.

Merry Christmas to All.

Mr I-Need-You-24/7

2006-12-24T23:56:00.001+08:00

Easily noticeable, he exudes a minion-like behaviour around girlfriends. Recall the guy who calls his girlfriend 5 times in an hour (that's basically once every 10mins), he has developed an arched-back from carrying too many shopping bags, and is seemingly lacking his own social circle.

You may find this familiar:
Girlfriend: Why do you keep calling me! I'm doing my project!
He: Where are you? Why can't you tell me? Why can't I be there with you?
Girlfriend: Don't disturb me, I'm having menstrual cramps
He: I wanna be with you 24/7. You need tampons? I can run out to 7-11 and be back in 2 minutes.

Verdict: Well, if you're willing to tolerate a second 'shadow' in the form of the male species, and enjoy having a quasi-Nazi track your every move in exchange for a self-devoted serf, I salute you.
-by Aston Lim, UC Santa Barbara & Melissa Lee, NTU

The Rule of Three

2006-12-23T23:54:00.001+08:00

Consider how this ancient law of proportion works for great speeches

Most speakers know about the importance of using “the Rule (or Law of Three”. Most are not aware where it came from.

People use this ancient mathematical law of proportion in ways they do not even think about. Abraham Lincoln learned it in his one-room schoolhouse. Eves Aristotle, in his Art of Rhetoric, referred to “three types of speeches” and “three forms of proof”, although he also divided ideas into two parts and four parts as well.

Lewis Carroll, in addition to writing the Alice in Wonderland stories, was a mathematician at Oxford and referred to The Rule of Three more than once in his writings. In his Mad Gardener’s Song, he writes:
“He though he saw a Garden-door
That opened with a key:
He looked again, and found it was
A double Rule of Three:
‘And all its mystery,’ he said
‘Is clear as day to me.’”
Later on, in The Hunting of the Snark, Carroll says:
“I have said it twice:
That alone should encourage the crew.
I have said it thrice:
What I tell you three times is true.”

Suffice to say, irrespective of its mathematical overtones, the number three is truly magical. Speech coaches insist that people can most easily remember something if it is said three different times.

Shakespeare used it (“Friends, Romans, Countrymen”), and so did Thomas Jefferson (“Life, Liberty and the Pursuit of Happiness”). US Marine Corp instructors teach that a marine should limit his or her attention to three tasks or goals.

And the Jay Lenos of the comedy world frequently follow this formula. The first comment names the topic, the second sets a pattern, and the third unexpectedly switches the pattern, which is funny.

So where has all this been leading us? Simply that focusing your message on no more than three significant points, and repeating them in different ways throughout your presentation, is certain to give your presentation the maximum impace. Using The Rule of Three is powerful!

In case the above seems over dogmatic, some authorities suggest that The Rule of Three is more commonly followed in Western culture and that “a rule of four” can be found to be typical in other cultures.

Dr Jerry Tarver, emeritus professor of speech communications at the University of Richmond and a noted speechwriting instructor, points out that there are many famous examples of “fours” and “twos” in famous declarations (Frank Delano Roosevelt’s “Four Freedoms” and Churchill’s “blood, toil, tears and sweat”). A good example of “twos” is Patrick Henry’s famous “Give me liberty or give me death!”

Emerson’s dictum that “a foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds” is probably applicable her but we still think The Rule of Three is a powerful technique in fashioning memorable human communications. If it was good enough for Shakespeare, it is worth your while to give it a shot.

-when you are clear about the thress key points of your speech, it is easier to pack power into each point you want to make.

thinking and feeling together

2006-12-22T22:58:00.000+08:00

i think too many times i’m just doing one and not the other. when i’m thinking, i’m just working and working and just doing stuff but not feeling about ow the people around me are doing, about whether i’m taking time to make friends..to cherish friends. when i’m feeling, i’m just beeing all emotional and feely and not taking action to curb those negative emo feelings/ride on the waves of the good feelings and making sth really good of them.
i need to do my thinking and my feeling together.

-

for now, the daily dose..
Mr Dollar Bill Arsonist
A regular at upmarket waterholes like Winebar and Qbar, he may be young, but he's loaded and disillusioned with the value of money. Used to lighting cigarettes with lit up dollar bills and with a wallet full of titanium credit cards, he's thinks money can buy you everything.

You may find this familiar:
Girlfriend: Oh no....I'm really worried about my grades...
He: How much do you want?
Girlfriend: Do you think God exists?
He: Seriously, how much do you want?

Verdict: He does not take you seriously and assumes all relationships are developed on the basis of a monetary transaction. His so-called man-buddies are probably hangout out with him because he's loaded. When push comes to shove, you'll never know if he'll be around. However, unless you're a gold-digger whose sole life purpose can be fulfilled with material satisfaction, you go Girl!
-by Aston Lim, UC Santa Barbara & Melissa Lee, NTU

desperation

2006-12-21T23:34:00.000+08:00

sometimes there’s just this desperation within you that is greater than your fears. and hopefully along with it comes a passion that’s bigger than your inhibitions and if things go well, along with it is also a fire that melts away all the bad stuff.
this feeling comes in short spurts at time to me but i wish it’d stay longer.then maybe i’d feel more compelled to do things that i’ve stopped doing, to feel things i’ve stopped feeling and to discipline myself to follow through these great big plans i have in my head. it’s scary to feel it but i need to, right now. now.

time capsule

2006-12-20T23:57:00.000+08:00

i met zhen' ai today and its been so long since we last met. i kinda miss her badly, BADLY. by the way, thanks for the chocolates, bestie.

sometimes you miss someone quite a bit and you don’t realize it until you spend time with him/her again.
there were moments of silence between us - when we were just occupied with our own thoughts and pondering over what had just been said. then we’d just smile to ourselves or to each other and though at these times little was said out loud, we kind of knew what was going through each other’s minds. even if nothing was being connected in our brain’s nerve cells, we just enjoyed each other’s company. the physical presence just felt, hmm, say - assuring.

i kind of like this phrase. ronan keating warbles: you say it best, when you say nothing at all. i don’t think communication has to be verbal all the time. being able to be with someone and not say anything without feeling awkward or strange is a sort of indication of a matured friendship…

i just place today's happenings in the time capsule.

rain (part1)

2006-12-19T19:26:00.001+08:00

rain.
it started raining the whole day since sunday.
no doubt its gloomy and depressing.
but,
really it ain't that bad, really.
i like the rain in the morning especially. you get to feel all cozy inside. of course it’d be nice if you could lay in bed, huddled under a humongous blanket hugging a bolster. and the air is all fresh and cool.
i thank God for the rain.

what you dream things would be

2006-12-18T20:32:00.000+08:00

everyday i try to tell myself ‘this is your life, are you who you wanna be?’
many times i can’t say yes because there are simply too many imperfections within me that make it question if everything will really be how i dreamed it would be. one day, perhaps someday.
the song goes on ‘don’t close your eyes, this is your life, are you who you wanna be’.
well, yes, you shouldn’t close your eyes, whether is it in fear or out of fatigue.
you just gotta keep your eyes open, grin and bare it; the world won’t seem so daunting anymore and your dreams won’t be so far away. now i have to go on to more major victories and slowly make it to living a life where everything is what i dreamed (am dreaming) it to be.
keep your eyes open to the good, happy things…to the optimism of what can be.

three Bs

2006-12-17T23:46:00.000+08:00

there are many things that i may not understand and even more things that i don’t even have knowledge of. but in any situation, i think the best thing is to stop trying to make sense of everything and just let someone bigger than yourself step in. slowly but surely after that, things will make connections in your head make sense.
today wasn’t supposed to be a good day, in fact, today was a sunday where i had many things to jeer about but somehow, i’m in a cheery mood. i think it’s all in the power of the mind, the same (bad) situation can happen to you but what happens to you on the inside really does depend on how your mind thinks.

just somehow, i AM feeling bigger, better and brighter today.

magical, charming, beautiful

2006-12-16T23:23:00.001+08:00

magical and charming:
there is this something about christmas lights that is part magical and part charming.
that's why i love christmas. but somehow i still feel that christmas in town is so solemn, though i have my friends and family by my side.

beautiful:
there is this thing about waterbodies at night that makes them an extremely beautiful sight. perhaps it’s the string of lights from streetlamps that reflect off it or the shimmery reflections from random light lines. it’s just really nice. and with good company, you’d be like :) and of course i was :) too.

you know...

2006-12-15T23:59:00.000+08:00

do you know?
perhaps.
maybe so,
maybe not.

you know when you bathe in the morning and the showerhead is above you and the water is running and you step into the bath area and you go under the water and the water is cold and the sensation of the freezing water when it hits your skin from head to toe…and SHOCKS THE LIVING DAYLIGHTS OUT OF YOU?!
yeah, i have a love-hate r/s with that feeling. it almost works as well as coffee.

try it. i thought it might work just as well for you like it did for me.

Judgment Day

2006-12-10T09:29:00.000+08:00

The future has not been written. There is no fate but what we make for ourselves. I wish I could believe that. My name is J. Connor. They tried to murder me before I was born. When I was 13, they tried again. Machines from the future. Terminators. All my life, my mother told me the storm was coming. Judgment Day. The beginning of a war between man and machines. Three billion lives would vanish in an instant. I would lead what was left of the human race to ultimate victory.

It hasn’t happen. No bombs fell. Computers didn’t take control. We stopped judgment Day. I should feel safe…but I don’t… so I live off the grid. No phone, no address…no one and nothing can find me. I’ve erased all connections to the past. But as hard as I try…I can’t erase my dreams…my nightmares. I feel the weight of the future bearing down on me. A future I don’t want. So I keep running…as fast as I can. Anywhere. Nowhere.

By the time Skynet became self-aware…it had spread into millions of computer servers across the planet. Ordinary computers in office buildings, dorm rooms—everywhere. It was software and cyberspace. There was no system core. It could not be shut down. The attack began at 6:18 P. M., just as he said it would. Judgment Day. The day that human race was nearly destroyed …by the weapons they’d built to protect themselves. I should have realized our destiny was never to stop Judgment Day. It was merely to survive it…together. The Terminator knew. He tried to tell us…but I didn’t want to hear it. Maybe the future has been written. I don’t know. All I know is what the Terminator taught me: Never stop fighting. And I never will. The battle has just begun.

go with the flow

2006-12-09T09:57:00.000+08:00

spending one day at home is the greatest luxury i can have right now. stepping outside of my family’s humble abode often means i have got work to do and i’ve to speak more than i wish to. at work, i appreciate even more the ability to be laid back and just…’go with the flow’. so i think, my mom angst was more of a blessing than a curse. just for yesterday at least.

right now, i'm feeling so sinful. just when i'm suppose to mug, im facing the laptop watching some warflick. rarrhhh

nothing more than faith

2006-12-08T20:39:00.000+08:00

yes, despite all the nonsense and emo-ness that college has managed to conjure up, i’m still keeping the faith that there’s a happy and fruitful ending for all of us. although it is a tad unfair to blame everything on the college, it does seem that people did try their darnest to get into my course of study just to find themselves more unhappy than ever. is it the stress? the projects? the peer pressure? the CTs? or just the elitist group of people?
personally, i find myself very happy in school. perhaps because i do not push myself to the limits and thus have less of my character and personalilty tested in the past half a year. maybe because I don’t lay my pens on the book 24/7. sometimes it breaks my heart and optimism to see the people around me breaking down and not being able to handle the worries that college years throw at us but there isn’t much i can do, except to keep the faith and to pray.

way of life

2006-12-07T22:34:00.000+08:00

there are many things that i may not understand and even more things that i don't even have knowledge of. but in any situation, i think the best thing is to stop trying to make sense of everything and just let someone bigger than yourself step in. slowly but surely after that, things will make connections in your head; make sense.

ok that's just today..i'm going to complete my work and mug if i can till the sun comes up tomorrow morning and i collapse from exhaustion.
rarrhhh

the morning rain

2006-12-06T07:02:00.000+08:00

i slept at 9pm last night and was supposed to wake up 30 minutes later to mug till 1am at least but well, i just woke up half an hour ago and here i am blogging.
it’s raining outside. I’m feeling extremely extremely cold. i guess that’s the reason why my parents keep telling me that i’m supposed to wear proper pyjamas to sleep and not just t-shirts and shorts.
rarrrhhh.
i like the rain in the morning. you get to feel all cozy inside. of course it’d be nice if you could lay in bed, huddled under a humongous blanket hugging a bolster but since i’ve slept for 9 hours already, being huddled in front of the laptop ain’t that bad either.
i could talk about exams or CTs and how it don’t count for anything except to promote you to year2 but well, i’m not about to discourage myself further from hitting the books. Not for now at least. alright so lets just say I’m studying for knowledge.
but deep down inside, i know that exams aren’t everything.

all about love

2006-12-05T18:15:00.000+08:00

love isn’t centered around emotion. it is, in fact, centered around you and your will.
so the cliche of falling in and out of love isn’t that true after all. love isn’t an emotion (or rather, it really isn’t based on an emotion) love is a choice. so a relationship doesn’t work out just 'cos you fall out of love with someone. love is a decision, your desicion. and when you’ve made it, you also concurrently make a commitment to your decision. you don't fall out of love. you just simply choose to stop committing yourself further into the choice that you made.
i promise that when i choose to love. i’ll stick to it. i will.

the path i choose to walk

2006-12-04T19:48:00.000+08:00

there are many times when we just simply get tired of doing things. for me at least. getting things right…or at least trying to. how to do you explain something that felt so right and that that ended up in flames?
look, i think. it’s the same with everything we've set our minds on. relationships (with man and with any other things), studying for exams etc. we're always subconsciously asking, ‘should i give up or not? do or don't?’ why not just throw in the towel and do something else? something simpler and less exhausting?
sometimes i question myself if it does pay to be different? 'cos if it isn’t, i'd just let myself be like every other soul. just go with the flow, and be with the crowd. even though you’re in the ‘right’ crowd of people and different, you just somehow feel like you don’t belong. at times, you just wish that people love you even more or even pay that extra bit of second noticing your differences. but sometimes they just make you feel inferior and want to sink into the earth's core, hoping to just disappear by the next time they blink their eyes.
oh well, that was pure blathering.
at the end of the day, i'll still choose to believe that there’s light at the end of the tunnel. though it may seem weak and lost right now, but if i just believe and continue to walk towards it, i’m going to come out basking in the full glory of it.
so, would you care to take the step with me?

Sleep - an evil thing

2006-12-03T13:44:00.000+08:00

Sleep is an evil thing
really it is…it deprives you of alot alot of time but deprivation of sleep leaves you useless and mindless.

rarrhh

2006-12-02T14:31:00.000+08:00

several thoughts running through my head but i do not have the tenacity nor do i have the rigour to spout it all out in proper words and sentences. perhaps one day when i’m able to translate the images and connections that my brain’s neurons are making, i’ll be able to give others an insight to what in the world i'm thinking.
now, i need to get some sleep and mug and mug and MUUUUG.

mug, MUG!

2006-12-01T20:50:00.000+08:00

i need to study my notes. yet i think to myself that i still have time. no i don't have *enough* time. there are so many sets of notes to read, tutorials to go through.
gah..rarrhhh
no worries, i can still wake up early tomorrow, just to mug mug mug…whoooo.

three-mo

2006-11-30T20:02:00.000+08:00

today's a great day apart from some blank. unhappy moments are not worth mentioning, but i have to say, i regretted. just so remorseful.
to think that the bad moments will just fade and that tomorrow, the sun will shine brighter than before and things will start looking up again. see, that's me. it's okay.

my brother came home at about 10am. he's serving his NS term now, in a few days time, he'd have completed 1 year of this harsh life. his rare appearance at home makes me miss him badly sometimes. especially when i needed company.anyway, i didn't get a chance to mug today as we spent the day outside, playing and of course catching up. that was the happy part. then comes the parting part. somehow i just had this thought of locking him up at home, just so i could see him everyday. this sounds silly, man. but i let him off 'cos he'll be back on sunday.

i just realised, there're some things which i just can't afford to lose.

karma and me

2006-11-30T01:20:00.000+08:00

this is the 7th week of school. first week of school wasn’t that bad. i kept to my timetable and wasn’t really late for any classes. but things have changed since the second week of school. skipping cell bio lectures, appearing late(sometimes) for some classes and stuff – this is my routine, seriously. speaking about skipping lectures, i use to skip last semester’s math lecture. and now, it’s cell bio. i’m sorry that I don’t feel sorry for my behaviour. don’t blame me. blame the flubby guy who like to spam our mailbox with apologizing emails, if not, reviews of what we or rather he/they covered in that week. he apologizes many times saying he has given us the wrong information. how smart right. but, i feel that karma is going to come back to bite me in the backside and all the disrespect i put forth to my cell bio lecturer will come back to own me...someday.

breakthrough

2006-11-29T21:13:00.000+08:00

I can't believe i went to school just to tap my card for attendance for CBO and went home after that. spent less than an hour in school. and instead of mugging at home, i went to see the doctor to seek some advice and after that a 2hr walk and talk. not a bad thing i should say 'cos i've already made up my mind. sad to say, i had to exchange the good advices for a jab on my left arm. actually my hepatitis B immunization is due. and so...
i saw the needle slowly being injected and hey, i just realised that i felt less pain looking at the fine thin needle than looking away and pretending nothing's happening.

actually i've overcomed the phobia of needles/injections just today. you might think i'm nuts to be afraid of an ant bite but a few years back, a nurse who everyone claims is specialized in doing blood test, performed one on me. due to my super fine veins, my main doctor couldn't do it thus sending me to that specialized nurse 5 stories above the lobby. she drawed blood from my left arm, but failed. smiliarly for the right. and once more for the left, then the right. that was a total freak-out incident for me. its a total of 4 times she POKED me with that not-so-fine needle. honestly, it was tough drawing blood from my veins, so when the blood was seen in the syringe, i was kinda relieved. but horror struck when i saw the reverse - the blood gt sucked back. actually during the 4 times she tried, there was this reverse, just that no blood was seen. i think the nurse got quite scared that i might sue her or something, so she decided to use the "baby" method - butterfly, whereby the needle in injected at the back of my palm and she'd pump the blood just like the sphignomanometer. well, she'd have saved so much time and horror if she had done the butterfly method at the very beginning.
so yes, the breakthrough after 6 years and i'm feeling free at last.

just a side of me

2006-11-28T20:49:00.000+08:00

He's right. I’m not as violent. but i'm still me. the loud, diplomatic, straight-talking, go-getter. but much less violent. don't know how to put it. Gah.
lately, i've this feeling that i've become a super duper deep thinker. couple of days ago, many things happen and it set me seriously thinking about life. And yes, to cope with 'em all, optimism speaks. What more.

no doubt, i'm just as happy 'cos I’ve decided to view all these matters from the optimistic point of view. Guess i’m into taking on this outlook. dreadful experiences don’t always leave you forlorn. Well for me at least. it makes me more serious and makes me think even deeper into life. Nevertheless i’ll still remain bright and breezy.

Gheez, I sound so not me. Morphed? Probably. the reasons are indefinite.
Alright. for now, back to work.

2 ful-s

2006-11-27T12:39:00.000+08:00

right now i’m feeling two ful-s. I’m fearful. I’m fearful of making mistakes. I can’t sort out the twists and turns I’ve created in my life. I’ve messed it up, which may affect the people around me. – my greatest fear. I don’t have the courage to admit my wrongs, but I do try changing and its tough. I’m fearful of making the wrong choices in life. Doing the don’t-s. those that might or will cause the greatest impact in my life. I’m fearful I’ll lose my friends or close ones one day. I fear.

But I’m thankful. i’m thankful for the 2 very important friends I have. one who’s there all the time for the laughter and the pain. the other for the blabbering and nuts, plus the help with my blog =). i'm thankful for my friends. i'm thankful for my family who loves and provides me more than I deserve and need. I’m thankful for all who made my day and life. I’m thankful for the people who believe in me even when I don’t myself. i’m thankful for all. I’m thankful.

revival

2006-11-26T23:47:00.000+08:00

i've planned to give blogging a kick-start once again.
this blog is gonna last long. i promise. it shall not be abandoned like my other 5 accounts with a couple of blogs in each. blog abuse i know.
reason being, i don't know how to operate this super chim stuff in the past and present. but thanks to Ting Wei, my blog's flies for the last time. once more it fails, and i'm gonna rip blogging.

pen my thoughts tomorrow. for now, slumber off.